I’ve known these people since I was a kid. With some we went to kindergarten together, with others we met when we were teenagers. We all lived in the same town, we created a collective that for personal, political or cultural reasons didn’t identify itself in the standard that the town had set for us and in the role that we were told to occupy – this was the true adhesive to our identity. Each of these people represents a part of my internal world that changed in the time but left an indelible imprint.
According to psychologist Kurt Lewin a group can be defined as “a dynamic totality”.
This means that a change in state of one fraction or part of it affects the state of all the others. As in physics, the law of dynamics states that to an action corresponds an equal and opposite reaction, in a group the action of one individual can result in a reaction of each of its components. The theory of Social Perception suggests that there are different principles based on which one can assert a group affiliation, but the reality is that as much as the affiliation can be tied to a specific reason, this reason in time changes. Friendships that were born because of geographical proximity become friendships based on similarity and change in identy, through a process in which personal growth is fundamental. Today, more than twenty years later, our identity is daughter of that history that sprung behaviors, defined our characters and generated our doubts. We live far from one another, we got married, we’ve changed our habits and our priorities, in some of us our children created a new type of affiliation.
But this will always be my group, they are my friends and I am because together we are.